The following was found while surfin around. Thought you could use a laugh.
MICROSOFT
SHOULD MAKE CARS - GM SHOULD MAKE OPERATING SYSTEMS SOFTWARE
At a computer expo, Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the
gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating the following:
“If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1.
Starting the car
is easy. However, to shut off the engine you would have to close all windows
and press the 'Start' button.
2.
For no reason
whatsoever, your car would crash, at least twice a day.
3.
Occasionally,
your car would die on the freeway for no apparent reason. You would accept this
as normal, restart the car from the ‘off’ position, and continue to
drive on.
4.
Sometimes,
executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and
refuse to restart; in which case you would call a ‘recovery
expert,’ and have to reinstall the engine.
5.
Only one person
at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car NT 2000,' or 'Car XP,' or
even the latest, ‘Car Vista Professional.’ Then you would have to
buy more seats, for licensed passengers.
6.
The oil, water,
temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single
'general car fault' warning light with a downloadable address, forcing you to
restart no matter what happened.
7.
The airbag system
would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. Then, you would have to find the
‘any button’ to continue.
8.
On occasion, for
no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in
until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed
hold of the radio antenna.
9.
New seats would
force everyone to have the same butt size, and they would not be adjustable.
10. GM would include with your new car, a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), on a 30-day trial basis, even
though you neither need them nor want them. Refusing to accept the terms would
result in constant reminders & warnings until the engine is reinstalled.
11. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the prior model. And, your old maps you
reluctantly but finally bought, wouldn’t work either; not backwards
compatible.
12. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, or
made new roads, you would have to buy a new car.
13. If you drive to the wrong address, be careful. Your
car can catch a near-fatal, contagious virus.
14. Be careful of what gas you buy. Bad gas can result in
your car gaining a permanent passenger that you can’t get rid of. Mostly
invisible, this person reports to their bosses on all driving habits, faults
and directions that you and your car take. They may try to steer or run your
car as well, even when it is parked in the garage. If you try to get rid of these
ill-gotten passengers, they moan & groan and cause many problems. They can
even cause your car to stop running, forcing the need to reinstall the engine
and transmission, which is not covered by any warranty, extended or otherwise.
15. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but
would only run on twelve percent, or less, of the roads & highways.”
Retrieved from the Internet
circa 1997 - Modified for current Operating Systems
☻
2007 DATOW Software ☻
800-866-8086 ☻